Some Personal Experiences
“I spent more than 30 years trying to overcome childhood problems within my family — quite bad ones, of the type that marks you for life. These were problems I had been watching, discussing, analysing, presenting to experts over and over again without fear of being judged and without ever holding back from trying new ways to overcome them.
But knowing and accepting problems with your mind doesn’t automatically mean you are able to cope with the effects provoked by them in practice. And evidently not all practical ways to cope with them are adequate… So there I was, appearing to be a fully rounded modern woman, but actually hiding behind my armour was a trembling child, struggling to be “perfect” and to satisfy what I thought were others’ expectations of me. I had a deeply rooted feeling that my right to exist would pass me by while I gave all of myself to this exercise in an endless effort to make amends for my faults and for those of others…
“And then I found myself in a Family Constellation group with Svagito. I didn’t just stumble upon it, it was preceded by a few other groups offered by people who have an interest in meditation and in Osho, by some readings, by chats with previous participants and so on, and it appealed to me a lot — to tell the truth it also scared me a lot — yet it turned out to be a turning point in my life!
“I don’t know exactly how it happened — rational explanations can’t account for it…. and what came out of the role-playing on my family didn’t even give me new information about my family history, as it has for others. Yet I found myself looking at the painful events of my life and family relations with a new pair of eyes, and this has allowed me to live these relationships, and even my life, in a different way. I feel a growing self-confidence and a new sense of my right to exist.
“I’m not saying that a miracle happened that suddenly solved all my problems, but certainly there was a catalytic reaction in the group and this put a new tool in my hands and made it possible to dissolve the heavy burden that I’d been carrying all this time. I feel deep gratitude for this process. ”
Fausta Setti, PhD University Professor, Milan, Italy
“The Family Constellation group was a mysterious experience for me. At the time, it felt as if it hadn’t touched my major problem – my mother. Of course, a dynamic happened in my constellation, but it was mainly between me and my unborn twin and I cannot even recollect it clearly now. What I do remember is that while observing my constellation I actually felt able, for the first time in my life, to observe my family from the outside, because someone else was playing my role and nothing was expected from me other than to watch. As a result, my family no longer looked like the usual inner monster made up of guilt and frustrations, but as a chain of historical events which I belonged to. This was a relief.
“Still, what difference did it make? After all, I had gone into the group to look at my problem with my mother and left acknowledging my dead twin and feeling a part of history. So I was puzzled.
“A few months later, however, I started noticing that my mother’s weight on my life was decreasing, and that as a consequence I could see my brother and sisters better. They suddenly all looked equally important, more human and acceptable and easier to deal with. Actually, I related better not just to them but to all people. I could see people better, value them more. It’s as if after I had seen my family within the group, the family members had all sunk into my heart in a very honest way, leaving the outer space a little cleaner, more available to reality. ”
Dhaara Silvia Vignato, PhD University Professor, Padova, Italy