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A Guide to Family Constellation:
Understanding the ties that bind us
and the of path to freedom

by Svagito
is now available in various languages!

This book examines the roots of love in families, in the relationship between parents and children and in the relationship between men and women. It explains the laws that guide our behavior within these relationships, what leads us into suffering and what can lead us out of it; how to grow from a blind to a more conscious love.

The book gives a summary of all the basic concepts of the work of Family Constellation as originally developed by Bert Hellinger, including the latest findings, in a clear and easy-to-understand way. It is rich in practical examples from daily life and from case studies of individuals.

The author has been a course and training leader in the field of therapy and meditation since 1981 and has personally studied with Bert Hellinger. He teaches and conducts trainings in more than 15 countries around the world and has an in-depth background working with different cultures and family histories.

Hellinger’s original insights are illuminated by the author’s own experience and are placed in the broader context of meditation and spiritual growth. This is more than a book about therapy; it is a stepping stone to finding one’s own authenticity and individual nature.

The book is designed both for newcomers wishing to understand the basic concepts of Family Constellation and as a practical guide for those seeking to actively work with this approach.

From Part Two:

When we examine what goes on between a parent and child, we immediately see an imbalance: the child is dependent on the adult, the mother or father gives more, and the child takes more. When we look at the relationship between couples, we see a balance, a reciprocation of giving and taking in which both partners play the roles of giver and receiver in roughly equal amounts.

In essence, a man is receiving from the woman what he is missing, and giving to the woman what she is missing; a woman is receiving from the man what she is missing and giving to him what he is missing — both must be ready to exchange in a balanced way. They must be ready to show that they need something from the other.

This exchange of giving and receiving happens at all levels – material, sexual, emotional, mental, spiritual — and is the sustaining force that maintains the relationship, deepening the commitment of both partners. The more they give and receive from each other, the stronger the bond will be between them.

In the parent-child relationship, bonding is already a built-in factor; a child is biologically bonded to his parents, whether he likes it or not. In the relationship between man and woman there is a choice to come together, but as soon as they create a bond through their exchange, separating becomes difficult. This is one reason why people often feel afraid to give or receive too much, because they fear they will lose their freedom to do what they want.

In the parent-child relationship the sentences we use to express the intrinsic dynamics are, “You are big and I am small, you give, I receive.” In a man-woman relationship it is more appropriate to say to each other, “I have something that you need, and I’m ready to give it to you; also, you have something that I need and I am ready to receive it from you.”

Where Problems Start

Partners bring into the relationship whatever burdens they carry from their family of origin, so it is clear that the parent-child relationship will have a strong impact on the man-woman relationship. If a person wants to ‘give’ to his parents, a situation which, as we have seen, is an entanglement that goes against the natural hierarchy and order of a family system, then he may want to compensate by receiving from his partner, as if the partner is his parent. In this way, everything is turned upside down.

What would need to happen to remedy the situation and restore balance is that he would have to “shrink” and become ‘smaller’ in relation to his parents — becoming a child rather than playing parent — and in relation to his partner he would need to grow ‘bigger,’ learning to take responsibility and giving more.

When one partner unconsciously asks the other to be a parent, or adopts a parental role, the balance between two equals is disturbed, upsetting the equilibrium of the relationship. What is required of a man and woman who come together in a partnership is that they ask something from the other, and are at the same time aware of what they owe to the other. The challenge is to take a position in the relationship where both partners give only as much as the other is willing or able to give back, or receive only as much as the other is ready to receive in return.

From Part Four:

In meditation, people don’t try to change or fix anything, but rather become aware of their inner being, their witnessing state of consciousness. The moment this happens, all fight and struggle ceases. Hence, many mystics have taught relaxation and effortlessness as a path to experiencing self-nature.

In Family Constellation, people are looking at how they are related to their own families, learning to accept and embrace these roots, and in this way coming into contact with a universal life force that moves us all. When people feel grateful to their parents, in the same moment they experience a wider feeling of self-acceptance, falling in tune with the whole of life.

By seeing and understanding the ways they are tied to their families, people also understand why they behave in a certain way. When they accept that this is how they are, something else shines through, something of the inner being, soul, or essence, which is eternal and not part of the superficial layers of human personality.

Really, it is a spiritual quality that comes through in such moments. Imagine, for a moment, a disabled or handicapped person, who is unable to perform and experience many things in life that ordinary people do. Most “normal” people would look at this person with the attitude that he has a disadvantage and, indeed, he may feel this way himself. But if he is able to fully agree with his fate, and fall in tune with it, he is likely to develop a certain strength and well-being that others will not have.

In a way, our objections or disagreements to life function like a handicap. We may think, for example, that it would have been better if our childhood was different, or if our parents had behaved differently, or if we had behaved differently in our relationships – the opportunities for regret when reviewing our personal life history are endless. But in doing this we are in fact taking away something from ourselves, because the reality of events will not change; all we are doing is denying ourselves the positive experiences that arise out of accepting ourselves and our past.



21 well-known therapists describe how their work has been inspired by an enlightened mystic.

This book is about therapy that is connected to meditation, inspired by the enlightened mystic Osho and his vision of life. For this reason, it is referred to as ‘Osho Therapy’. In this context, therapy is not just a method to solve personal problems, but also prepares and leads a person towards meditation.

– compiled by Svagito
various languages

→ Review by Osho News

International therapists and teachers share their insights and experience, showing how their work has been influenced and guided by the vision of the enlightened mystic Osho. This book is a journey through a kaleidoscope of different therapeutic methods aligned around the essential importance of meditation and love for healing and spiritual development.

List of Contributors:

Osho Therapists

1 Anando (Self Love)
2 Anubuddha (Conscious Touch)
3 Shunyo (Osho’s Meditation Methods)
4 Leela (Osho’s Meditative Therapies)
5 Tarika (Conditioning and Counseling)
6 Pratibha (Voicing)
7 Aneesha (Pulsation)
8 Moumina (BodyTypes)
9 Premartha & Svarup (Twice Born: Childhood Deconditioning)
10 Dwari (Born to be a Buddha- Birth Integration)
11 Svagito (The Roots of Love – Family Constellation)
12 Krishnanada/Amana (The Learning Love Approach)
13 Vasumati (Couple Therapy)
14 Devapath (Diamond Breath – the Breath of the Buddhas)
15 Turiya (Sexual Deconditioning & Tantra)
16 Rafia (Inner Man, Inner Woman)
17 Sagarpriya (Masculine/Feminine)
18 Premananda/Prabodhi (Hypnosis)
19 Meera (Art Therapy)
20 Amiyo (Sacred Dances)
21 Ganga (Satori)

This book is about therapy that is connected to meditation, inspired by the enlightened mystic Osho and his vision of life. For this reason, it is referred to as ‘Osho Therapy’. In this context, therapy is not just a method to solve personal problems, but also prepares and leads a person towards meditation.

Therapy can be defined as a way to create a state of well-being within the body and mind, while meditation leads to a state that is beyond the mind. Peace, harmony and personal fulfilment are never fully possible within the dimension of mind, because mind by its nature is a problem-creating mechanism. If you solve one problem, it will inevitably create another. If you find the answer to one question, many more questions arise.

This is why some mystics have likened the mind to a tree that is being pruned or trimmed: you cut off one branch and in response the tree grows many branches in its place.

The real solution is to step outside the dimension of mind and enter the dimension of No Mind in which silence, peace and bliss are experienced naturally. Meditation techniques are ways to arrive at such a state.

This book presents a way of working in the field of self-development, healing and therapy that has this understanding as its base. So, while different therapeutic methods and styles are being introduced, the core aspect is the same: the fundamental importance of meditation.

The art of living consciously, connected to the present moment, is considered as the best way to live a real, authentic and fulfilled life.

Birth of a New Vision

Therapists and group leaders who present their work in this book have all been profoundly influenced and guided by the enlightened mystic Osho and his vision of bringing eastern methods of meditation together with western therapy techniques. They use Osho’s meditation techniques in their work and regard therapy as a stepping stone towards higher states of consciousness.

In Osho’s own words:

My therapists are not only therapists, they are meditators, too. And therapy is a superficial thing. It can help to clean the ground, but just to have a clean ground is not to have a garden. You will need something more.

East and West Shake Hands

In the late 1970s, therapists trained in western methods of psychotherapy gathered around this controversial mystic and explored eastern methods of meditation. This gave birth to a unique experiment.

Maybe for the first time in history, western psychotherapy and eastern mysticism shook hands. With Osho’s guidance, therapists using a wide spectrum of growth methods developed new ways of working with people, looking at the human psyche from a broader viewpoint.

Deeper insights became possible for everyone involved, including the therapists themselves and those participating in their workshops, seminars and trainings.

Therapists with different skills learned from each other and experimented with new forms of working with people, without needing to stay within the restrictive guidelines of each specific therapeutic discipline.

Of primary importance in this process was the eastern understanding of putting aside the personal ego and allowing a higher energy to manifest – beyond a therapist‘s own personal knowledge and skills.

There is a profound difference here that needs to be emphasized: Western culture cultivates the individual ego, so that skilled and gifted people in all professions – politics, business, medicine, therapy – have a tendency to acquire a sense of self-importance that accompanies success.

Eastern culture, on the other hand, regards the absence of ego as an achievement far superior to self-aggrandisement. As a result, in the community created around Osho in Pune, India, there was less identification with professional status, not least because roles and jobs were flexible and tended to change quickly – an individual working as a therapist in one moment might be a cook or a cleaner in the next.

When Osho added western therapies to his work he personally monitored what was happening in these workshops. After each course, he met with the group’s participants and its facilitator, inviting everyone to share their experiences and ask questions.

Therapists learned to ply their craft in a totally different way. In a specific workshop – say, for example, Primal Therapy – a therapist would act as the guide and be in a position of authority; but, in the wider context of the community, both therapist and participant would be learning and experiencing meditation together. There was a sense of oneness, with little distinction. This has continued to be the case, long after Osho’s death.

Fundamental to this understanding is that meditation is a mysterious process that cannot be quantified, measured, or even understood by the rational mind – since it is, after all, a state of No Mind. So, even though a therapist has a valuable skill that can be of help to others, he has no greater status or maturity in a spiritual sense.

This revolutionary approach was supported by the fact that no therapist was paid for the work he did. Their work was given out of love and a wish to contribute to the community, supporting the greater priority of meditation.

The reader may wonder about the strange Indian names of the therapists who have contributed to this book. Some background will help: in the 70s, when people started gathering around Osho, he began to initiate them into sannyas. Traditionally, in India, a sannyasin is one who renounces the world and dedicates his life to meditation, changing his name and style of dress.

Osho’s revolutionary approach to sannyas was to remain ‘in the world’ – exploring relationships, business, careers and on so – while learning through meditation to be free from attachments. He taught his new sannyasins to live life fully and joyfully, while at the same time seeking their own innermost ‘Buddha Nature’. He called his approach ‘Neo-Sannyas’ and asked his sannyasins to dress in the traditional orange colour and wear a necklace of wooden beads – called a mala – with a locket containing his portrait.

A person, who took sannyas in this way made a commitment with himself to meditate, declaring to the world that he was now ready to enter a new stream of consciousness, where the art of living life joyously and exploring meditation went hand-in-hand. It was not about withdrawing from the world, or being part of any religious group, or becoming a follower of any kind, but about learning to stand alone and unburdening oneself from past knowledge, traditions, religions….

In the late 80s, Osho declared it was no more important to have any outer symbol of this inner spiritual commitment, so the distinctive clothing, colour and mala were dropped. Now it is everyone’s choice to take a new name or keep the old one, but the commitment to meditation and self-inquiry is the same as ever.

Osho’s work went through many phases and so did the communes that evolved around him. Maybe never in history was there an experiment of such magnitude, where people from all walks of life and backgrounds, from any nation, race or culture, gathered around an enlightened mystic, creating the most diverse and unparalleled melting pot.

Osho’s Multiversity, which acted as the umbrella organization for his therapy work, started in India in 1974, then moved in 1982 with Osho and his sannyasins to Oregon, USA. In 1987, it came back to Pune, where it greatly expanded, offering over 50 different kinds of therapy, courses and sessions for body, mind and spirit. Therapists, health professionals and artists shared their skills, knowledge and insights with each other.

Enriching Experience

Nowadays, therapists who once trained together in Pune work more on their own, without being connected to a specific Osho community. Still, there remains a common link between them, as the reader will discover in this book.

Through years of sharing, co-operation and communion, while at the same time respecting uniqueness, these therapists have learned to appreciate the richness that can be brought to a comprehensive, multi-dimensional understanding of the human psyche.

For example, during a bodywork training in Pune in the 90s, in a course that lasted several months, various teachers were introduced, covering a wide range of body-oriented therapies from strongly physical, deep-tissue massage to the most subtle energy work.

The teachers sharing their skills worked differently and sometimes plainly contradicted each other. Yet the programme’s facilitators had no problem with this paradoxical situation. They knew it would be an enriching experience and a challenge to help people find their own style of working.

Outside of the training, these therapists would send clients to each other and there was an overall feeling of working together for a common purpose.

This was reflected in the Osho Therapist Training, a therapy process lasting 2-3 months, where various therapists contributed to a single long-term course, teaching people how to work with clients.

The idea to create this compilation came from those times, when many Osho therapists worked closely together. This book presents their approaches, which are different and yet complementary. Each covers a different aspect of human experience and offers a different model of man’s reality.

Those therapists selected have been with Osho for a long time and have developed their own personal styles. Theoretically, they could all contribute to a single Osho Therapist Training that would, indeed, be a kaleidoscope of psychotherapy.

In order to keep the book to a reasonable length and also to avoid repetition, the number of contributing therapists has been restricted. This does not constitute an evaluation of those who have not been invited. There are many more who could have made equally valuable contributions.

Given the uniqueness of every human being, the reader is bound to feel more rapport with some therapeutic styles than others. Yet, rather than taking a comparative standpoint, the reader is invited to embrace different approaches that are all part of a bigger movement towards the growth of consciousness. Osho’s approach to life is multi-dimensional, hence the name ‘Multiversity’.

This book can be read in a straight sequence, but does not need to be. Each chapter stands on its own. Each chapter serves as an introduction to a way of working that may inspire you to explore deeper, perhaps even joining one of the courses that these therapists offer.

Beyond the Therapist-Client Relationship

Osho therapy gives dignity to human beings by understanding that answers to life’s existential problems come from inside, not outside. They arise from the deepest core of one’s own being, not from anyone else. At its best, therapy helps to remove obstacles in order to allow us to find our own answers.

In other words, consciousness is not a commodity that can be given. So the work of an Osho therapist is to create the right atmosphere in which the inherent wisdom and understanding of the client emerges into the open. The therapist functions more like a midwife. It is not a progress from here to there, but to a deeper and deeper here.

Ultimately, a therapist is not a guide who knows more than the client, but a friend who is aware that, even though he possesses a particular skill, he is essentially in the same boat.

In Osho’s words:

When the therapist and the patient are not two, when the therapist is not a therapist only and when the patient is not a patient anymore, but a deep ‘I-thou’ relationship arises, where the therapist is not trying to treat the person, when the patient is not looking at the therapist as separate from himself, in those rare moments therapy happens.

When the therapist has forgotten his knowledge and the patient has forgotten his illness and there is a dialog, a dialog of two beings. In that moment between the two, healing happens. And if it happens the therapist will know always that he functioned only as a vehicle of a divine force, of a divine healing. He will be as much grateful for the experience as the patient, in fact he will gain as much out of it as the patient.



This book on therapy and meditation and is available through, O-Books or the author himself.
This book presents a way of counseling that is rooted in meditation. It examines the core aspects of a spiritual approach to therapy, beyond method and technique, focusing on the essentials of how personal growth and transformation occur.
Important insights are offered to those who are interested in combining therapy and meditation, and who want to gain personal clarity and a new vision of how they work with people.
The principles described in this book can be applied to any form of therapy or counseling. Practical examples are given from the author’s own experience spanning more than 25 years as a therapist, a wide range of clients and many different countries.

This book presents a way of counseling that is rooted in meditation. It examines the
core aspects of a spiritual approach to therapy, beyond method and technique,
focusing on the essentials of how personal growth and transformation occur.
The principles described in this book can be applied to any form of therapy or
Important insights are offered to those who are interested in combining therapy and
meditation, and who wish to gain personal clarity and a new vision of how to work
with people.
This includes a general understanding of how the human mind functions, as well as
the dynamics of man-woman relationships and the polarity within each individual of
‘inner male’ and ‘inner female.’
Practical examples are given from the author’s own experience spanning more than 25
years as a therapist, including a wide range of clients and many different countries.
Three major techniques of therapy are compared and evaluated: body-oriented,
systemic and energy work.
Part One: The Essential Elements of Counseling
Chapter 1 Therapy and Meditation
Chapter 2 Mind and Being
Chapter 3 Presence: A Healing Force
Chapter 4 The Nature of Desire
Chapter 5 The Influence of Love
Chapter 6 Primal Relationship
Chapter 7 Man-Woman Relationship
Chapter 8 Inner Male-Female Polarity

Part Two: Working with People
Chapter 9 Phase One: Giving Support
Chapter 10 Phase Two: Confrontation and Pendulation
Chapter 11 Phase Three: Integration
Chapter 12 The Attitude of the Helper
Chapter 13 The Helper-Client Relationship
Part Three: Basic Therapeutic Models
Chapter 14 Body-oriented Approaches and Emotional Awareness
Chapter 15 Energy work
Chapter 16 Systemic Approaches
Chapter 17 Working with Groups
Author Biography

The Zen Way of Counseling:
Counseling and Relationship Dynamics Training
level 1

May 14-21 2016
Bodrum, Turkey

Information & booking:
Disha, Dilek


zen way cover


This CD contains a collection of four short guided meditations. These meditations can be done at home or any other place, where one can remain undisturbed for at least 15-20 minutes. Each meditation centers around a certain topic and can be practised independantly of the other ones.

1. Honouring your Family Roots 21:19
2. Awakening your Body Energy 21:08
3. Completing a Relationship 13:51
4. Watching in a Movie House 14:28
Total 70:46 Min.
You can order the CD directly from the author by sending an email to: